Jump to content
Nonegfiat

real debaters only

Recommended Posts

the following post is for Real Debaters only. If you're a Fake Debater or a Scrub you can just go ahead and click away

 

For clarity's sake, I will now enumerate the qualifying factors of a Fake Debater

 

-If you are a PFer

-If you are an LDer whose name is not Patrick Fox

-If you are a Parli "debater"

-if you have ever gone for conditionality bad

-if you have read any of the following authors: Baudrillard

-if you have never impact turned extinction

-if you have never argued with your judge after the RFD

-if you have never included the phrase "you can't solve [x] if you're dead" in your impact calculus

-if you have ever read the states counterplan, and I MEAN IT. The only exception to this rule is if you repented of your sins by conceding 50 state fiat bad and forfeiting the round. This is an acceptable sacrifice

 

Now that we have that out of the way, and have successfully weeded out the Fake Debaters, let's get to business

 

 

I have discovered the most unbeatable argument in debate. I saved this for the Real debaters because we cannot have the unwashed masses corrupting this argument. This is, I dare say, better than the Fiat Double Bind. I know that sounds like blasphemy, because Fiat Double Bind has long been honored by Real Debaters as the Greatest Argument in debate, but times "change", and we must adapt our ways if we are to hone our craft as debaters.

 

Many of you read kritiks or theory "violations" that have Education as an impact. There will always be Dumbasses who try to argue that something outweighs education, but we know they are Stupid. Here is how you expose their stupidity: (unfortunately this only works for high school debaters this year, so we must be Quick)

 

"Education is the most important impact because that's the topic"

 

Judges will love this, and they will recognize it as the mark of a Genuine debater. There will no longer be any impact debate after you deliver this Argument.

 

You can also apply this in other ways. For example, you can use it as an independent Voter when the other team reads shitty evidence. This is because if your authors qualifications outweigh theirs, you can say that you are providing better in round education by reading more qualified authors, and Education is the most important impact because that's the topic. They're not gonna have any answer to that.

 

 

  • Upvote 10
  • Downvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the following post is for Real Debaters only. If you're a Fake Debater or a Scrub you can just go ahead and click away

 

For clarity's sake, I will now enumerate the qualifying factors of a Fake Debater

 

-If you are a PFer

-If you are an LDer whose name is not Patrick Fox

-If you are a Parli "debater"

-if you have ever gone for conditionality bad

-if you have read any of the following authors: Baudrillard

-if you have never impact turned extinction

-if you have never argued with your judge after the RFD

-if you have never included the phrase "you can't solve [x] if you're dead" in your impact calculus

-if you have ever read the states counterplan, and I MEAN IT. The only exception to this rule is if you repented of your sins by conceding 50 state fiat bad and forfeiting the round. This is an acceptable sacrifice

 

Now that we have that out of the way, and have successfully weeded out the Fake Debaters, let's get to business

 

 

I have discovered the most unbeatable argument in debate. I saved this for the Real debaters because we cannot have the unwashed masses corrupting this argument. This is, I dare say, better than the Fiat Double Bind. I know that sounds like blasphemy, because Fiat Double Bind has long been honored by Real Debaters as the Greatest Argument in debate, but times "change", and we must adapt our ways if we are to hone our craft as debaters.

 

Many of you read kritiks or theory "violations" that have Education as an impact. There will always be Dumbasses who try to argue that something outweighs education, but we know they are Stupid. Here is how you expose their stupidity: (unfortunately this only works for high school debaters this year, so we must be Quick)

 

"Education is the most important impact because that's the topic"

 

Judges will love this, and they will recognize it as the mark of a Genuine debater. There will no longer be any impact debate after you deliver this Argument.

 

You can also apply this in other ways. For example, you can use it as an independent Voter when the other team reads shitty evidence. This is because if your authors qualifications outweigh theirs, you can say that you are providing better in round education by reading more qualified authors, and Education is the most important impact because that's the topic. They're not gonna have any answer to that.

Sweet Jesus this is true

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the following post is for Real Debaters only. If you're a Fake Debater or a Scrub you can just go ahead and click away

 

For clarity's sake, I will now enumerate the qualifying factors of a Fake Debater

 

-If you are a PFer

-If you are an LDer whose name is not Patrick Fox

-If you are a Parli "debater"

-if you have ever gone for conditionality bad

-if you have read any of the following authors: Baudrillard

-if you have never impact turned extinction

-if you have never argued with your judge after the RFD

-if you have never included the phrase "you can't solve [x] if you're dead" in your impact calculus

-if you have ever read the states counterplan, and I MEAN IT. The only exception to this rule is if you repented of your sins by conceding 50 state fiat bad and forfeiting the round. This is an acceptable sacrifice

 

Now that we have that out of the way, and have successfully weeded out the Fake Debaters, let's get to business

 

 

I have discovered the most unbeatable argument in debate. I saved this for the Real debaters because we cannot have the unwashed masses corrupting this argument. This is, I dare say, better than the Fiat Double Bind. I know that sounds like blasphemy, because Fiat Double Bind has long been honored by Real Debaters as the Greatest Argument in debate, but times "change", and we must adapt our ways if we are to hone our craft as debaters.

 

Many of you read kritiks or theory "violations" that have Education as an impact. There will always be Dumbasses who try to argue that something outweighs education, but we know they are Stupid. Here is how you expose their stupidity: (unfortunately this only works for high school debaters this year, so we must be Quick)

 

"Education is the most important impact because that's the topic"

 

Judges will love this, and they will recognize it as the mark of a Genuine debater. There will no longer be any impact debate after you deliver this Argument.

 

You can also apply this in other ways. For example, you can use it as an independent Voter when the other team reads shitty evidence. This is because if your authors qualifications outweigh theirs, you can say that you are providing better in round education by reading more qualified authors, and Education is the most important impact because that's the topic. They're not gonna have any answer to that.

 

This.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

-If you are an LDer whose name is not Patrick Fox

Screw Vinay and Holden! I'm the only real debater in LD!

 

So Ben for you is it like "their advocacy makes me dizzy - thats bad because health o/w since it's the topic"?

 

Instant L for Kansas KR right there

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So Ben for you is it like "their advocacy makes me dizzy - thats bad because health o/w since it's the topic"?

 

Instant L for Kansas KR right there

You are correct. That is the basis of the strategy I plan to break at the NDT. Although as an Innovator and an Entrepreneur, I feel the need to adapt the argument to withstand the attacks of the college circuit's top "debaters". 

 

While you plebs have permission to use this argument an a form of impact calculus, I am going to transform it into an unstoppable role of the ballot. Because this thread is restricted to Real Debater's, I feel comfortable giving you all a "Sneak Peak". However, if any of you runs anything similar to this, not only will you lose your status as a Real Debater, but I will terminate your school's debate program. The following strategy is mine, and mine only.

 

Interpretation: Vote for the team that best performs healthcare in this round.

 

Prefer it-- healthcare is the topic

 

 

I will then proceed to answer Kansas KR's arguments, and in doing so I will spread so hard that I will give myself a Coughing Fit and pass out right in front of the judges. My partner will then declare that the reason I passed out is because Kansas's debate practices are medically harmful and they are performing the opposite of healthcare. (They read too many arguments for me to answer in a healthy manner, forcing me to destroy my lungs by Spreading)

 

My partner will then cause a ruckus and act like I'm dead. Ruckus will ensue for about 1 minutes, or least long enough to get everyone Spooked. Then my partner will have an Epiphany and miraculously "remember" that he has an Epipen in his backpack. He will then act as if he is injecting me back to life (although in truth the Epipen shall not make contact with my Skin-- I hate needles.) I will be Revived and everyone will cheer. If that scene isn't enough to compel Kansas KR to forfeit, I will get up and extend the role of the ballot, whereby the Judges will have no choice but to vote for us because not only has Kansas done the opposite of healthcare, but we have performed true healthcare in this round

Edited by Nonegfiat
  • Upvote 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Screw Vinay and Holden! I'm the only real debater in LD!

 

So Ben for you is it like "their advocacy makes me dizzy - thats bad because health o/w since it's the topic"?

 

Instant L for Kansas KR right there

Hey shut up Patrick I’m basically you just minus all the K crap you run
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are correct. That is the basis of the strategy I plan to break at the NDT. Although as an Innovator and an Entrepreneur, I feel the need to adapt the argument to withstand the attacks of the college circuit's top "debaters". 

 

While you plebs have permission to use this argument an a form of impact calculus, I am going to transform it into an unstoppable role of the ballot. Because this thread is restricted to Real Debater's, I feel comfortable giving you all a "Sneak Peak". However, if any of you runs anything similar to this, not only will you lose your status as a Real Debater, but I will terminate your school's debate program. The following strategy is mine, and mine only.

 

Interpretation: Vote for the team that best performs healthcare in this round.

 

Prefer it-- healthcare is the topic

 

 

I will then proceed to answer Kansas KR's arguments, and in doing so I will spread so hard that I will give myself a Coughing Fit and pass out right in front of the judges. My partner will then declare that the reason I passed out is because Kansas's debate practices are medically harmful and they are performing the opposite of healthcare. (They read too many arguments for me to answer in a healthy manner, forcing me to destroy my lungs by Spreading)

 

My partner will then cause a ruckus and act like I'm dead. Ruckus will ensue for about 1 minutes, or least long enough to get everyone Spooked. Then my partner will have an Epiphany and miraculously "remember" that he has an Epipen in his backpack. He will then act as if he is injecting me back to life (although in truth the Epipen shall not make contact with my Skin-- I hate needles.) I will be Revived and everyone will cheer. If that scene isn't enough to compel Kansas KR to forfeit, I will get up and extend the role of the ballot, whereby the Judges will have no choice but to vote for us because not only has Kansas done the opposite of healthcare, but we have performed true healthcare in this round

please god yes

 

Hey shut up Patrick I’m basically you just minus all the K crap you run

Hey Holden how many winning 1ARs have you given on cap against me again

  • Upvote 1
  • Downvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

-if you have ever read the states counterplan, and I MEAN IT. The only exception to this rule is if you repented of your sins by conceding 50 state fiat bad and forfeiting the round. This is an acceptable sacrifice

i guess wimsatt is a fake debater

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

please god yes

 

 

Hey Holden how many winning 1ARs have you given on cap against me again

None because 1. That one time during lunch has been the only time you’ve debated against me and 2. I’ve been doing LD for like 3 weeks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

None because 1. That one time during lunch has been the only time you’ve debated against me and 2. I’ve been doing LD for like 3 weeks

It's okay Holden, I've never given a winning 1AR against Padrick either

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are correct. That is the basis of the strategy I plan to break at the NDT. Although as an Innovator and an Entrepreneur, I feel the need to adapt the argument to withstand the attacks of the college circuit's top "debaters". 

 

While you plebs have permission to use this argument an a form of impact calculus, I am going to transform it into an unstoppable role of the ballot. Because this thread is restricted to Real Debater's, I feel comfortable giving you all a "Sneak Peak". However, if any of you runs anything similar to this, not only will you lose your status as a Real Debater, but I will terminate your school's debate program. The following strategy is mine, and mine only.

 

Interpretation: Vote for the team that best performs healthcare in this round.

 

Prefer it-- healthcare is the topic

 

 

I will then proceed to answer Kansas KR's arguments, and in doing so I will spread so hard that I will give myself a Coughing Fit and pass out right in front of the judges. My partner will then declare that the reason I passed out is because Kansas's debate practices are medically harmful and they are performing the opposite of healthcare. (They read too many arguments for me to answer in a healthy manner, forcing me to destroy my lungs by Spreading)

 

My partner will then cause a ruckus and act like I'm dead. Ruckus will ensue for about 1 minutes, or least long enough to get everyone Spooked. Then my partner will have an Epiphany and miraculously "remember" that he has an Epipen in his backpack. He will then act as if he is injecting me back to life (although in truth the Epipen shall not make contact with my Skin-- I hate needles.) I will be Revived and everyone will cheer. If that scene isn't enough to compel Kansas KR to forfeit, I will get up and extend the role of the ballot, whereby the Judges will have no choice but to vote for us because not only has Kansas done the opposite of healthcare, but we have performed true healthcare in this round

 

topic is about health insurance not health care...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you don't respect Fiat Double Bind then you dont understand Debate

 

It's not about the understanding, the argument is more of a meme (although a respectable one) than anything except maybe Baudrillard. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not about the understanding, the argument is more of a meme (although a respectable one) than anything except maybe Baudrillard. 

Excuse You:

 

Fiat double Bind is not a "meme". It is a briliant argument that regularly Destroys plan "debaters". For it is Unbeatable (the only Debater who can beat it is me. But I would never use my power in such an Irresponsible fashion)

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The other interesting thing about Real Debaters is that we only cite Real Authors. In order to be a Real Author you need to:

-always already use the phrase "always already" to describe the world

-make sure you Capitalize random Words so that they seem to mean something different than their Literal definition

-call random things "Foucauldian"

 

Anything I'm missing here?

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The other interesting thing about Real Debaters is that we only cite Real Authors. In order to be a Real Author you need to:

-always already use the phrase "always already" to describe the world

-make sure you Capitalize random Words so that they seem to mean something different than their Literal definition

-call random things "Foucauldian"

 

Anything I'm missing here?

 

yes this is Correct,

 

a Real Debater cannot cite a Fake Author, and a Fake Debater cannot cite a Real Author

 

You have, however, missed a Couple of points, which are additional qualities of a Real Author

 

 

-Real Authors may not address a Question without referring to "discourse"

 

-Real authors must know how to Refer To Themselves In Third Person

 

-Real Authors must instruct debaters to use the phrase "right now, in the status quo"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this is awkward because i legitimately read antonio 95, baudrillard, bataille, adorno, and other k tricks.... guess im not a real debater

 

and im trying pf for the first time saturday (this is gonna go terrible i have to dress up!), and then for the next two tournaments im testing out ld (hopefully they accept baudrillard and bataille)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this is awkward because i legitimately read antonio 95, baudrillard, bataille, adorno, and other k tricks.... guess im not a real debater

 

and im trying pf for the first time saturday (this is gonna go terrible i have to dress up!), and then for the next two tournaments im testing out ld (hopefully they accept baudrillard and bataille)

 

Friend, you will not enjoy PF. It is not a good event. Someday I will grace cross x with an anti-PF manifesto

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Friend, you will not enjoy PF. It is not a good event. Someday I will grace cross x with an anti-PF manifesto

To bad all of my schools CX program jumped ship and joined PF and forced me to LD

Edited by TheTrashDebater

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To bad all of my schools CX program jumped ship and joined PF and forced me to LD

PF is the epitome of Fake Debate. My high school only did PF, and i eventually converted to Policy, starting my own program, because I couldn't stand it anymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×