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What Is The Funniest Thing You Have Done, Not Necessarily Said, In A Debate Round?

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Once, I was debating a team in AUDL that was just terrible, and they seemed to confuse the distance from Earth to the Mars with that of the Earth and the moon. So when i ran out of cards to read, I found an expo and drew a picture of the relative locations of the three objects. I said "This is the Earth and this is where were going, the moon! In no way shape or form do we access Mars!"

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I was bored out of my mind and watching LD rounds. They were all awful. Finally someone read Nietzsche. I whispered "YESSS" really loud. Everyone looked at me.

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i conceded the neg block of 13 minutes of free trade good and went for a nanotech dedev scenario. picked up two KU debaters and a mom's ballot.

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I was at city championships in Chicago and in order to prove that Nomadism is inherently human, I "embodied the mind of a nomad" then -to prove a point- said racist remarks, did some feminist bashing, did some gay bashing, asked my (pretty hot) female judge on a date, and then did the opposite and condemmed everything I just said and called my judge ugly to prove that the "nomadic way of thought" is human nature and its a simple thing to spontaneously change ones opinon on command. You may give me neg reps but idc I won that debate and broke into Quarters lol.....that was the funniest round ever =)

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Round 7 at Harvard, senior year. We were 3 up, so we knew we couldn't break. We're neg. Decide to run Fight Club, as it was the last round of the last major tournament we'd ever go to. Naturally, considering the fact we had never run it (or Nietzsche, or any other kind of 1-off K), we were unsure of how to do it (read: decided to be total idiots about it).

 

1AC: Some quasi-critical case, whatever.

CX: "Do you attempt to alleviate suffering?" "Yes." "Ok, that's all I wanted to ask." Partner and I simultaneously take off jackets, loosen ties, and roll up sleeves.

1NC: Partner proceeds to read Fight Club 1NC while roaming around the room, alternating between shouting and really intense near-whispers. As he does so, he throws the pieces of paper he's reading from down on the ground. Whenever he returns to the podium, he stops and glances up to look into the eyes of our opponents while he reads. When he finishes, the floor is strewn with the 1NC cards. He offers to donate the time he has left over to our opponent's 2AC.

 

We ended up winning. We really shouldn't have. And hence my signature.

Edited by SlateEmVerbatim
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I hit a different language k that required each speech to be in a different language. My 2ar was in "ghetto". I said "this be the best mothafuckin plan you eva did saw. Deez bitches don't know". I am white and I lost that round.

 

That's not funny. It just makes you a giant asshole.

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Lost a break round because my partner would not stop farting, then stops in the middle of his speech and says "Please excuse my partner, he had Taco Bell for lunch." And then he spread consult china CP extensions. He was the 1n, and we had a mom judge. And in cross ex he was being a huge douche, the judge gives them a low point win, only because "The 1n was extremely rude, seriously, you need to grow up."

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Well, there was a semis round I had at a shitty houston local tournament (see: all houston local tournaments) and I was going against this team from Montgomery. We had hit them as aff in prelims and they thought they should have won for some reason, even though they did absolutely no impact work in the 2nr and went 6 off in front of an old school judge. When they found out that they lost that round, they talked all kinds of shit to their other teams and other teams from my school about my partner and I, so I was annoyed enough that I decided to be a huge prick to them and embarrass them.

 

I had two college cx debaters as judges and one parli debater. The other team read a space debris aff. They joked that we were going to go one off cap like we did against their other team at that tournament, so I decided to screw with them by mixing it up by reading two off, Cap K and "The" PIC.

 

I knew what their cap block was because their other team read it and told us the 2a from this team wrote it, and it was an absolutely terrible block. It didn't have a perm, just perm solvency cards, had only one cap good scenario, had an apology for their "capitalistic representations," and cards calling Zizek a nazi sympathizer and an argument that we are bound to represent our authors beliefs even if we don't discuss those parts. Basically, it was terrible.

 

So, after my novice partner's 1nc, the 2a from Montgomery was a huge condescending prick and tried to tease her and intimidate her in a funny way, but only came off as an asshole. So he reads that cap block in the 2ac and a perm and word pics theory on "the" pic, and it's my partner's cross x of him, but we had open cx, so I decided to take over cross x to be a huge prick back to him.

 

Me: "So what's you perm text on cap?"

Him: "Perm text?"

Me: "Yeah, the specific statement defining how your advocacy will function with our advocacy. What is it? I don't see it on my flow and don't recall hearing it at all, in fact, I don't recall hearing even the word 'perm' at all in your speech."

(College judges nod along)

Him: "I didn't read one."

Me: "So you don't have a perm and those perm solvency cards mean nothing."

Him: "I mean, it's an implied perm."

Me: "An implied perm? What the hell does that mean?"

Him: "I don't need a perm text to make a perm!"

 

(Judges start snickering)

 

Me: "Really? Well look at you, being a big tough guy, all like (obnoxious deep voice mimicking him) 'I do what I want!'"

Him: "I do do what I want..."

(Judges bust out laughing at that and his face is beet red)

 

We ended up crushing them easily. He wouldn't look at me after the round and his face stayed red the whole time. And the icing on the cake.... his family was there watching him!

 

Maybe that's not the funniest thing I've done, but it was funny and is my most fond memory of beating the crap out of unjustifiably arrogant people that suck at debate.

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I beat Rawrcat on "Heidegger's a Nazi" as a net benefit to a perm in the break round of the UTNIF camp tournament. RJ Giglio was the judge.

 

 

Love you, Colin....

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I beat Rawrcat on "Heidegger's a Nazi" as a net benefit to a perm in the break round of the UTNIF camp tournament. RJ Giglio was the judge.

 

 

Love you, Colin....

 

Jim was the 2N. I blame him.

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Jim was the 2N. I blame him.

 

Instead of answering it, he just decided to read a lot of poems.

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I was being facetious, jeez

 

Sounded more like cowardice. Defend your honor! We both read poems, that was a fun round.

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I was a novice debating varsity (gotta <3 small squads), and my partner was pretty... well let's just say he wasn't quite TOC champ quality. But what he did have was a K that he would only read if I was his partner... the Jewish Sabbath K (we were both jewish). We should not debate on saturday, we should instead use this day to rest and praise God. It is a horrible argument, it was terribly debated, but I did very much enjoy pretending to debate while really saying prayers in a language nobody in the room understood.

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