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mdawgig

Funniest Cross-Xs (Questions, Answers, etc...)

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This was a round of one of my teammates at NFL districts against Cap Bad:

 

Maggie: "Are there different types of Girls?"

Some Guy: "...uummm.. yes?... No?...um..."

Maggie: "Am I different from my partner?"

Guy: "Yes."

Maggie: "So it's possible that within a group, individual things can be different?"

Guy: "yes."

Maggie: "So there can be different types of Capitalism!"

Thats a decent point I think

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(This is the t.i. topic as a novice)

 

CX of 1AC - 

 

Me: So what is your plan??
1A: We are making more buses and more people use less cars

Me: So you are putting people in buses, and out of cars...

1A: Yeah

Me: How are you gonna make them do that? Why would they even want to? Don't many people prefer cars...

1A: Well they want to save the environment... -_- DUH! (They said it like that lol)
Me: Ok... Well buses still have emissions, right?

1A: They are trying to save the environment.

Me: Why can't they just do it now?

1A: (Gives an annoyed face and doesn't answer)

End cx.

 

CX of 1NC - 

 

1A: How do we not solve global warming?

Me: You still have emissions and stuff

1A: You say we have emissions and "stuff"... What exactly is this "stuff"?

Me: I don't see how that matters... 

1A: You said there are emissions and stuff!! What is this stuff?

Me: I don't know... 

1A: Okay so we solve - you don't know what the stuff is.

Me: What? How does it matter... I just said stuff it doesn't mean anything. Our argument is that you still emit A LOT of CO2 and therefore can't solve warming...

1A: If everyone used buses instead of cars, wouldn't that have less emissions?

Me: It might, but buses emit more than cars and if the reduction you claim is enough to solve.. and you never said how you are going to "put people into buses"... Your plan is just not gonna happen

1A: omg... They want to save the environment.

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(This is the t.i. topic as a novice)

 

CX of 1AC - 

 

Me: So what is your plan??

1A: We are making more buses and more people use less cars

Me: So you are putting people in buses, and out of cars...

1A: Yeah

Me: How are you gonna make them do that? Why would they even want to? Don't many people prefer cars...

1A: Well they want to save the environment... -_- DUH! (They said it like that lol)

Me: Ok... Well buses still have emissions, right?

1A: They are trying to save the environment.

Me: Why can't they just do it now?

1A: (Gives an annoyed face and doesn't answer)

End cx.

 

CX of 1NC - 

 

1A: How do we not solve global warming?

Me: You still have emissions and stuff

1A: You say we have emissions and "stuff"... What exactly is this "stuff"?

Me: I don't see how that matters... 

1A: You said there are emissions and stuff!! What is this stuff?

Me: I don't know... 

1A: Okay so we solve - you don't know what the stuff is.

Me: What? How does it matter... I just said stuff it doesn't mean anything. Our argument is that you still emit A LOT of CO2 and therefore can't solve warming...

1A: If everyone used buses instead of cars, wouldn't that have less emissions?

Me: It might, but buses emit more than cars and if the reduction you claim is enough to solve.. and you never said how you are going to "put people into buses"... Your plan is just not gonna happen

1A: omg... They want to save the environment.

 

You're 1N and you Cross-X the 1AC? 

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On the space topic, we were neg against tourism. My partner read that no one would do it because a short trip costs a year's salary, while the aff was claiming middle class people would tour space.

 

Her: You say the average person wouldn't take part in the plan?

Partner: That's right

Her: Wouldn't Charlie Sheen be willing to do it?

Partner: Maybe, but I don't think Charlie Sheen is an average person...

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Novices at a tournament going varsity. They didn't realize it was the only division at the tourney when they sighned up. hit a good team first round on Alt energy topic.

 

Varsity: What is your incentive?

Novice: We don't have an incentive

Other novice: Are you sure, I think we have an incentive. PTC?

Novice: No

Other novice: I guess you right. No, we don't have an incentive

I've never heard of an "incentive." What is that?

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Best was in doubles at Harvard, I hit a K aff and one of my questions was:

 

Me: What side of the Timecube do you specify that the plan is done on?

1A: Uhm what's the Timecube?

Me: It's the theory, you know, that time is a cube around the Earth and has 4 sides all, one of which you passed the plan on.

1A: Doesn't a cube have 6 sides.

Me: NO IT HAS A TOP AND BOTTOM GOD! So what side?

1A: We don't believe in the Timecube.

Me: Wait... wait... wait. You openly deny the Timecube? *to my partner* GO GO GO!

 

We picked up 3-0

>this post is popular

I remembered a time when people didn't tolerate timecube

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Best was in doubles at Harvard, I hit a K aff and one of my questions was:

 

Me: What side of the Timecube do you specify that the plan is done on?

1A: Uhm what's the Timecube?

Me: It's the theory, you know, that time is a cube around the Earth and has 4 sides all, one of which you passed the plan on.

1A: Doesn't a cube have 6 sides.

Me: NO IT HAS A TOP AND BOTTOM GOD! So what side?

1A: We don't believe in the Timecube.

Me: Wait... wait... wait. You openly deny the Timecube? *to my partner* GO GO GO!

 

We picked up 3-0

 

What can you do if they openly deny Time Cube?

 

I know.  I'm sorry. *freakin novices*

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A:What's the status of the K and the Counter Plan?

N: Propositional.

A: What does that mean?

N: It's hard to explain.

 

So what exactly does propositional mean?

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So what exactly does propositional mean?

 

u propose it to the Other. or maybe it only happens in something in the style of A Modern Proposal 

COUNTERPLAN: Cubans should eat their children. (solves for famine)

The alternative is to eat the affirmative plan in order to erase the construction of a terrorist threat from Iran.

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Something that happened at our 1st tournament.

The cross X wasn't incredibly funny, it was really the 2NR that was funny. Basically, they dropped 2 of our advantages and didn't run ANY off case. None. So this is what went down in my cross X of the 1N.

Me: So, you say that soft power is completely useless in this scenario?

Him: Yeah, it is!

Me: But you also say that it's vital in this next card.

Him: Yeah, I do.

Me: So you concede that soft power is vital?

Him (with the most puppy-ish, eager face): YEP!

 

1N cross-xing my partner:

Him: So, what's the impact to your terrorism advantage?

Partner: Global nuclear war due to state-sponsored terrorism.

Him:....how would this be bad?

Partner: (starts listing off a lot of reasons, I see that his partner is nodding)

Me: And from the looks of things, your partner agrees with these points.

Other guy: Yep! These are great points!

Me: *facepalm*

 

Like I said, these were not that funny, just stupid, but the 2NR was pretty funny.

Him: Okay, so, I'm just gonna stall for 5 minutes. No, wait, that's a bad idea.

....

....

You have NO proof you guys didn't cheat?

 

Me: Uh...we read off a packet...same as you...

 

Him: Okay....do you have any proof you guys aren't robots?

 

My partner:...really, dude?

 

Me: *points to a cut on my hand*

 

Him: Convincing, but not convincing enough! They're robots, vote neg.

 

I saw the judge later, and he said they pretty much did the same thing in their next 3 rounds.

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Worst is this one:

 

2N: When does the plan happen?

1A: Immediately!

 

No normal means CP in the 1NC.....

If they said something like, "in a world of fiat, our plan would be passed immediately" it would sound a lot less stupid.

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(this was in class debate with novices)

A couple questions in

neg:  So how do you plan to do this?

Aff: STOP QUESTIONING ME!

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Him: Okay....do you have any proof you guys aren't robots?

 

My partner:...really, dude?

 

Me: *points to a cut on my hand*

 

Him: Convincing, but not convincing enough! They're robots, vote neg.

 

I saw the judge later, and he said they pretty much did the same thing in their next 3 rounds.

 

CYBORG PEDAGOGY

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Got this slayer question last year at a ToC bid tournament after reading the 1AC:

 

"So if all these bad things are happening in the status quo, why aren't you out in the real world doing things about them?"

 

The worst part was that it didn't even segue into a K. Once I responded, there was an extended period of stuttering, followed by questions about the merits of electric vehicles and a 1NC strat that consisted of an Oil DA, two Politics DAs, and a States CP.

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(In a practice debate)

cross-x of the 1NC

1A: so when does you impacts on the disad happen?

1N: oh, about 30 years-

Judge: STOP

Give the man props for at least not trying to lie about it. I'd give the guy good speaks if someone admitted a shitty timeframe instead of trying to lie. 

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Give the man props for at least not trying to lie about it. I'd give the guy good speaks if someone admitted a shitty timeframe instead of trying to lie. 

it wasn't that he was being honest, he just didn't know the timeframe at all (it was a relations !, I think), so he made that one up.

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Novice debate round. 2nc doesn't really say much. Novice gets up to CX the 2n and says, "I don't have any questions because they didn't make any arguments."

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