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Funniest Cross-Xs (Questions, Answers, etc...)

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(Throwing Finals)

 

Them: Are you topical? (after we gave them a t to run against us)

Us: No

May I ask for the context of this?

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This isn't word for word, but it's the general gist of the debate.

 

AFf was running hydroelectric. Neg runs CP.

Neg: In our CP, Ninjas enact the plan, therefore we solve better.

Aff: What does ninjas have to do with anything?!?!?

Neg: Don't you know? Ninjas are the best actor!

Aff: What if I trap your ninja in a box? He/she cannot act then.

Neg: They'll just escape from the box. They're NINJAS!

 

(During speech, aff says pirates are better than ninjas. Aff partner was frantically researching Pirates > Ninja warrants online)

 

Next C-X:

Neg: So you state that pirates are better than ninjas, correct?

Aff: Yes.

Neg: Why?

Aff: Pirates can sail on the seas. Ninjas can't go near water, and our plan is hydroelectric power, obviously using water to generate electricity as alternative energy.

Neg: Ninjas can walk on water. Our CP can still do your plan.

Aff: Ninjas can't walk on water!

Neg: Oh yes they can. That's why ninjas are better than pirates. They can walk on water, and they have ninja stars.

Aff: Pirates have ships and guns. Bullets fly faster and farther than ninja stars.

Neg: One ninja can take out a whole ship full of pirates with a ninja star, because in fact, ninja stars have been proven to fly faster than bullets.

Aff: Where's your warrant?

Neg: Here. The source is from God in '08.

Aff: ... wow, that's gonna be hard to beat...

 

Neg won, sadly.

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Aff had a Geothermal case with advantage of islands getting clean water by using Geothermal:

 

Me: so how many islands does the united states have dominion over that will be enacting your plan?

 

Aff: we don't know

 

Me: can you name any of them?

 

Aff: well like, there's Alaska.

 

yeah... we were in a geography room too

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We were aff running native wind. neg ran a birds da

after 1nc

aff: so what are the impacts to the birds argument?

neg: by impacts do you mean the bad stuff that happens when the birds die?

 

after 2ac

neg: do you think it's more important to save 50,000 people than 500 birds?

aff:yes!

neg: oh ya i guess that's true

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We were aff running native wind. neg ran a birds da

after 1nc

aff: so what are the impacts to the birds argument?

neg: by impacts do you mean the bad stuff that happens when the birds die?

 

after 2ac

neg: do you think it's more important to save 50,000 people than 500 birds?

aff:yes!

neg: oh ya i guess that's true

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after 1ac

neg:what are your harms?

aff: what do you think are harms are?

hahaha you're so funny.

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(During speech, aff says pirates are better than ninjas. Aff partner was frantically researching Pirates > Ninja warrants online)

 

Wait what?

Cheater.

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Neg: can you explain to me what your DA is talking about

Me: well...uh the only DA in this debate was brought up by you in the 1NC.

Neg: That's not true , the AFF can bring up DA's it's really beneficial to an AFF case.

Me: Alright... let's settle this. The neg brings up DA's or disadvantages. and the AFF bring up AD's or Advantages. capish.

Neg: That's what I thought no further questions. (just so you know he sat down with a look of pure smugness. Like he was the smartest cross-Xer in the world.)

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so are you saying that obese people use more gas in their cars?~neg

yes~me

but why?~neg

my evidence indicates that the more obese you are the more gas it takes to move.. said fat, just take the card.~me

So how do I know this author doesn't just hate fat people?~neg

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Novices at a tournament going varsity. They didn't realize it was the only division at the tourney when they sighned up. hit a good team first round on Alt energy topic.

 

Varsity: What is your incentive?

Novice: We don't have an incentive

Other novice: Are you sure, I think we have an incentive. PTC?

Novice: No

Other novice: I guess you right. No, we don't have an incentive

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This was a round of one of my teammates at NFL districts against Cap Bad:

 

Maggie: "Are there different types of Girls?"

Some Guy: "...uummm.. yes?... No?...um..."

Maggie: "Am I different from my partner?"

Guy: "Yes."

Maggie: "So it's possible that within a group, individual things can be different?"

Guy: "yes."

Maggie: "So there can be different types of Capitalism!"

Edited by crazeedaizee411

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We were debating some novices, who apparently didn't realize they had a CX period. My partner give the 1AC, and the CX is as follows...

 

Her: I now stand open to CX

Them: Cx? What?

Her: You can ask clarification questions now.

Them: Oh...Um...no questions...

Judge: [throws pen at them] Oh for the love of god! At least ask her how her day was!!!

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1st question after my partner read the 1NC (we ran synoptic Delusion)

 

"What is the optical delusionment that you speak of?!?"

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Ok this is state finals (sadly)

 

Ok so do Guinea Worms Kill anyone?

 

Grebe: They cause horrible suffering in poor africans!

 

has it killed a single african?

 

Grebe: doesn't matter, they're suffering!

 

So the answers no?

 

Grebe: I didn't say that.

 

So An african Has died from guinea worms then?

 

Grebe: .... the timer goes off.

 

The 2ac proceeded to makes the arguement that the funding mechanism (its a presidents foundation) told them they still need money.

 

Next cxa

 

My partner: so you emailed X person ?

 

Them: yeah

 

My partner: can i see the email?

 

Them: um we don't have it.

 

My partner: so i just have to take your word on it?

 

Them: we wouldn't lie

 

My partner: so what if i told u i talked to Kim Jain Bo about your plan he told em it was a horrible idea and he'd suggest that china atatcks america because of it?

 

Them: thats crazy

 

My partner: sorry i forgot the email...

 

 

(partner's impact calc in 2nr)

 

So u have a choice... judge u either vote for africans to have worm in their foot.

 

or if you vote aff you have dead africans with worms in thier foot...

 

 

 

Ok I lsot this round =(

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ask "can u believe it's not butter", then, if they say "yes", run an elitism k

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We ran Nietzsche in the 1NC-first question after the speech

 

Them: So, if I pulled out a dagger, right now, and stabbed you, would you embrace it?

 

Me: Well, that depends... do you?

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We ran Nietzsche in the 1NC-first question after the speech

 

Them: So, if I pulled out a dagger, right now, and stabbed you, would you embrace it?

 

Me: Yes. I am a total basass who should win the round instantly. I would also embrace stabbing you in the face with the same dagger and licking your blood from the blade. This is because I am the Ubermensch and can embrace whatever the fuck I want. Your God is dead.

 

Fixed with a much better answer that I personally use whenever possible.

 

Anyone who runs Nietzsche without adopting a similar persona is missing out on all the fun.

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