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A Call to Arms

College, Anyone?

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I'll be at Northwestern.

 

Lucas Schiel will be attending the prestigious Washington University in St. Louis. He's going pre med, and plans on doing Parliamentary Debate. What a stud.

 

Oh- I just spoke with Luke, and he told me that he plans on affirming his self-declared superiority over everyone in the area by assistant coaching here in St. Louis next year. He says that you and/or your coaches should contact him about working: 314-920-6163, or lughhke@gmail.com.

 

Also, Luke told me he was, still is, and always will be the greatest debater to ever set foot in St. Louis. When I asked him why, he said, "Because I can qualify to state without you."

 

This statement above is 100% true.

Edited by Fight Club
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because zackary mayer is so modest, i am forced to break my cross-x embargo to accurately report some details.

 

first, zackary was scouted to debate at northwestern because of his massive success at the district tournament held this march at pattonville.

 

second, zackary was scouted to coach at PCH by rob proffitt because of his ability to "get it done" every round. also, rob feels that zackary and him share a special bond, and he hasn't seen someone so talented since he won his state tournament ten years ago.

 

third, zackary told me once in private that he thought he was, by far, the best debator in the greater st. louis area.

 

fourth, that statement is totally true.

 

fifth, don't be fooled by chronology. zackary only edited his previous post to answer the truths in this one. to further prove me point, take a look at this gmail chat:

me: damn, i still don't have an offensive argument for this weekend

Zack: you're nothing without me.

 

you think that's a joke. it isn't.

Edited by Luke S
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ACTUAL true story: zack went to nfl nationals two years ago... just to watch.

 

second ACTUAL true story: kevin guo has never debated in his entire life and has 23 posts on his cross-x account.

 

final ACTUAL true story: wash u - yes; parli - no; pre med - no.

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But he is still coaching next year... that much was true.

 

Also that bit about me being the best debater in St. Louis- never said that.

 

But yeah, call Luke Schiel. He'll teach you debate.

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i guess it would be fiscally more responsible to learn debate from me, since zack is charging $25 an hour. but i do have to say, if you want quality, and you really want to win, no one can teach/debate/live like zack. he's just an all around great guy.

 

also, he is probably one of the top five funniest people i have ever spoken to.

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5 things you didn't know about Luke Schiel:

 

1) Fact: Luke Schiel pleasures himself to Rachel Maddow.

2) Fact: Luke Schiel's favorite phrase is "cyclical cycle," and refuses to admit its redundancy.

3) Fact: Luke Schiel is an active actor in YMCA plays, and has been for quite some time. Feel free to come down and watch.

4) Fact: Luke Schiel is "the only reason" that Rob Proffitt still works with me.

5) Fact: Luke Schiel once cried during a Regina Spektor concert because he thought she looked at him.

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Fact: Luke Schiel works out 3 times a day just so Kevin Guo will touch his pecs

 

Fact: Luke takes walking fitness because he's too scared to take a real PE class

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