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Mr.Military

Funniest Judge Comments

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And it also helps to know that I have beaten the judge on multiple occasions at local tournaments

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Thee funniest judge comments I hear are when they say "this was a good debate". It's funny because that's never the case when I'm debating.

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"The 1AR was fine but the 2AR was nonsensical and sometimes confusing."

 

He preceded to give the 1A 17 speaks and the 2A 24.

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We have this judge that doesn't vote on human impacts, but on puppy impacts. So, we hit a team from Oregon that's qualified to nationals like, 3 times (We've never lost to them up to this point) and we had that judge, a lay, and a coach that hates us. 

 

We went all real world and straight up with abusiveness that a lay wouldn't identify. I read a puppies advantage and 5 min of new stuff in the 1AR and won on a 2-1. 

 

 

 

I think his comment was

"The only impact in this whole round was Econ Decline hurt puppies other then that I heard nothing. Even if the neg thinks they won on the flow the aff adapted better and that's what I want to see at nationals" 

 

The coach that hated us wrote: 

 

"I'm the most qualified judge here and even if the neg looses this they got judge fucked." 

He gave me like, a 23 for my 1AR and my partner 24. The other two judges gave us 29's and 30's. 

He also doodled stick figured of people throwing our evidence in the trash and calling us dirty debaters for our strat. 

 

 

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I have a PhD in philosophy (Purdue, 2010), I've studied + taken grad classes on the metaphysics of things like fictional characters. Your analysis is way off + inaccurate

 

I didn't notice the first time around, but I honestly think that this is the best comment here. You win all of the croxx-x.com. Congratulatun.

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Judge: "I didn't buy the "NeeCha Critique," I don't even know how that relates to transportation infrastructure, also I rejected it because he is a Nazi."

 

Yes he's a Nazi, definitely.  :Bow 

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Judge: "I didn't buy the "NeeCha Critique," I don't even know how that relates to transportation infrastructure, also I rejected it because he is a Nazi."

 

Yes he's a Nazi, definitely.  :Bow 

 

 

Did some team accidentally read there A2 Heidigger block against it or something? 

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Did some team accidentally read there A2 Heidigger block against it or something? 

nietzsche's philosophy was used by some to back the Nazi party. his sister manipulated some of his writings to make it sounds like he supported the nazi party, so that's probably where that misconception comes from. 

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I was the second seed at CFLs and dropped in dubs.  One judge said I was too aggressive.  One judge wrote, "The neg proved the facts better than hedgemony was bad because of US empiralism.  The aff says that hedgemony allows us to change the world, but I don't think this is responsive.  The dropped theory and perm don't matter then."

The other team's coach went on a rant about how we should have won.

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I was the second seed at CFLs and dropped in dubs.  One judge said I was too aggressive.  One judge wrote, "The neg proved the facts better than hedgemony was bad because of US empiralism.  The aff says that hedgemony allows us to change the world, but I don't think this is responsive.  The dropped theory and perm don't matter then."

 

The other team's coach went on a rant about how we should have won.

We we're ninth and lost in dubs too. The judge wrote: the neg outdebated the aff but I straight up don't agree with the K. Also he lied to us outside of the round by saying he voted for us and really voting us down. Fuck judges at cfls.

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3rd round of CFLs the judge wrote on the ballot that his Name was "The Birdman" and wrote this at the Bottom:

 

3 things you might not know about me

1) I am the last remaining male heir to the romanov dynasty

2) I once counted to infinity

3) I was Val Kilmer's stunt double for his role of Iceman in the Tom Cruise classic, Top Gun. 

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We we're ninth and lost in dubs too. The judge wrote: the neg outdebated the aff but I straight up don't agree with the K. Also he lied to us outside of the round by saying he voted for us and really voting us down. Fuck judges at cfls.

 

He's going to hell. Lying at CFL... that's just asking for it. 

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This didn't happen to me, but one of my novices when I was a debater on the nukes.  A team ran a word PIC ("weapons" bad-- I didn't catch what they were switching it with) against them and the judge basically said "so they have this great plan that they came up with and you think they should lose because you think [whatever] is a better word than weapons?  If they stayed at home and smoked pot while playing halo, they would have had more education out of that than your stupid PIC"

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the ballot had a speech by speech critique on it

 

"1AC: good clarity

2AC: buy a dress shirt and some slacks"

 

keep in mind that im the 2A

 

Where's the funny part?

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I may have posted this somewhere on here before, but on the TI topic, I hit a team that was running transportation. Our assistant coach, who is an expert in many fields of science and a tech professional, made a huge block about how the plan is impossible and an insult to science. The judge wrote on the ballot, "the neg picks on the aff for being impossible. Anything is possible." Not so funny in of itself, but seeing my coach the angriest I've ever seen him was pretty hilarious.

 

There's also a judge who always draws on ballots, including Sonic the Hedgehog and Goku. He's a gold nugget of a judge hidden in an awful circuit. 

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I may have posted this somewhere on here before, but on the TI topic, I hit a team that was running transportation. 

question mark

Edited by feldsy
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question mark

 

Possibly meant to say teleportation. I hit one of those last year, doesn't take much effort to refute the "science."

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I may have posted this somewhere on here before, but on the TI topic, I hit a team that was running transportation. Our assistant coach, who is an expert in many fields of science and a tech professional, made a huge block about how the plan is impossible and an insult to science. The judge wrote on the ballot, "the neg picks on the aff for being impossible. Anything is possible." Not so funny in of itself, but seeing my coach the angriest I've ever seen him was pretty hilarious.

 

There's also a judge who always draws on ballots, including Sonic the Hedgehog and Goku. He's a gold nugget of a judge hidden in an awful circuit. 

Huh? Coaches will write out blocks for debaters?

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I don't know if this qualifies as funny or not, but back in 1970, one of the most highly regarded judges in my district, a former military man, said he was personally offended by the suggestion that the United States would intervene military simply because it was to its economic benefit to do so.  He said that we only intervene to defend freedom and promote justice.

Edited by CouldaBeenaContenda
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Just two, really.

 

A first time judge enters the room, gets my partner and I to write our names and says: "So how do I know who wins?" My partner and I just kinda stared at each other. We lost because "I don't like the idea of CPs. I thought only aff could make plans."

 

Second favorite: "You focused too much on asking questions during CX." Another first-timer. (Though Chicago has an abnormal number of those for lower conferences. It's a tad absurd.) Won that one, but was still funny.

Edited by Temporal
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In my novice round my partner and I are aff. and the other team runs T and a CP and grant us T in the block.

 

The RFD is "I end up voting Aff. because they are topical, so there is no use for a counterplan."

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