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kelsinator

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This is my first post here, and, if it bombs, it will be my last. (On this thread, that is.)

 

I was the 2AR in the final round of a major tournament in Texas. There was an audience of over 100 folks.

 

Back in the day, debaters used to spew like hell "on the issues" in time, but then, when the STOP card went up, we would wax oratorical (i.e., who cares if it doesn't count, right?).

 

The female 2NR had 4 different DAs - all of which had nuke war impacts.

The STOP card went up. She put down her legal pad, cut her speed by 95% and said, with great emotion, and a throb in her voice:

 

"When my children are born... hideously deformed... and profoundly brain-damaged, I don't want it to be because of nuclear weapons."

 

I did the content of my 2AR. The STOP card went up. I put down my legal pad, cut my speed by 95%, and, in my best imitation of Mr. Spock, replied:

 

"Many things in debate, and in life, are mysteries. But, thank God, everyone has seen [first name inserted] here today with their own eyes. And we can be positive - to a scientific certainty - that when her ugly retarded children are born, the debate will be over genetics... not nuclear weapons."

 

We won... anyway. Suffice it to say that my coaches "were not amused."

Edited by topspeaker70
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That was a movie-worthy quote. May be my favorite one yet.

 

 

That's not the best part. [insert first name here] MORE than had the "last laugh."

Guess how. (?)

Edited by topspeaker70

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This is my first post here, and, if it bombs, it will be my last. (On this thread, that is.)

 

I was the 2AR in the final round of a major tournament in Texas. There was an audience of over 100 folks.

 

Back in the day, debaters used to spew like hell "on the issues" in time, but then, when the STOP card went up, we would wax oratorical (i.e., who cares if it doesn't count, right?).

 

The female 2NR had 4 different DAs - all of which had nuke war impacts.

The STOP card went up. She put down her legal pad, cut her speed by 95% and said, with great emotion, and a throb in her voice:

 

"When my children are born... hideously deformed... and profoundly brain-damaged, I don't want it to be because of nuclear weapons."

 

I did the content of my 2AR. The STOP card went up. I put down my legal pad, cut my speed by 95%, and, in my best imitation of Mr. Spock, replied:

 

"Many things in debate, and in life, are mysteries. But, thank God, everyone has seen [first name inserted] here today with their own eyes. And we can be positive - to a scientific certainty - that when her ugly retarded children are born, the debate will be over genetics... not nuclear weapons."

 

We won... anyway. Suffice it to say that my coaches "were not amused."

 

That is probably the best thing I have ever heard.

 

 

My partner and I had a Rain Water Harvesting Case this year and in almost every cx at the very beginning we would ask if they need water to survive (of course they all said yes) so when they would run ph t's on us about ph being a vaccine we would just say you have to be alive in order to reciveve a vaccine and without water you cannot live (like our opp said in cross-x which is binding) so we do meet their definition, it was fun and it pissed them off.

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That's not the best part. [insert first name here] MORE than had the "last laugh."

Guess how. (?)

She became Mrs. Miller!

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i'm not a novice but my partner and i were hitting this novie team and we were running needle exchange and in cross-x my partner ask the 1N about his Malthus T standards and voters(yes i know that can't be a T). the guys reply was "I don't know but there is going to be an election soon so you can have all the voters you want from that... yea so it goes without saying the whole room erupted in laughter

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She became Mrs. Miller!

 

 

Close. She wouldn't let me touch her for almost two weeks. We were "going steady*" at the time (although very few folks in the audience knew that).

 

* WOW... When was the last time - if ever - you saw that term?

Edited by topspeaker70
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* WOW... When was the last time - if ever - you saw that term?

 

Usually when I'm copulating, I like to make sure things are "going steady" but I think the two have different meanings.

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TS70, you are my favorite person here, bar none.

 

*edit...some coward anonymously neg repped me for this post. "please do not feed the troll" the message read. I accept. Tell me who you are, and I won't respond to your posts.

Edited by brorlob
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Not exactly my favorite line but my fav. moment in debate was we were debating a team that really ticked me off. We were aff and running Water wells for the Africa topic. Their 2 remaining arguments that we hadn’t completely smashed were that “water wars will never happen because they haven’t happened in the past “ and a fairly good china DA. So I get up their in the 2AR and say. “ok, flow the water wars over to them right now we accept this argument, but it only takes out part of our solvency and the rest is left standing.” “and now look at their china DA because a nuke war has never happened in the past it will never happen in the future, because of their water wars they are forced to agree with us.” The judge started laughing and I’m pretty sure circled aff on the ballot right then and the other team just looked at us dumb-struck. It was pretty funny.

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random immigrant russians shouting game over and cursing constantly in every setence in their 1ar

 

not really a line, but it was still AMAZING

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Not exactly my favorite line but my fav. moment in debate was we were debating a team that really ticked me off. We were aff and running Water wells for the Africa topic. Their 2 remaining arguments that we hadn’t completely smashed were that “water wars will never happen because they haven’t happened in the past “ and a fairly good china DA. So I get up their in the 2AR and say. “ok, flow the water wars over to them right now we accept this argument, but it only takes out part of our solvency and the rest is left standing.” “and now look at their china DA because a nuke war has never happened in the past it will never happen in the future, because of their water wars they are forced to agree with us.” The judge started laughing and I’m pretty sure circled aff on the ballot right then and the other team just looked at us dumb-struck. It was pretty funny.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? YOU ARE TOO FUCKING FUNNY WOW....

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i normally start off with

 

"JUDGE RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW THEY'RE TOTALLY CONCEDING OUR ARGUMENT NOW DROP DOWN ALL THE WAY TO YOUR LINE BY LINE WHERE THEY COLD, LIKE ICE COLD SUB ZERO CONCEDED OUR AWESOME 2AC NUMBER 15 THAT CROSS-X CHECKS LIT CHECKS CLASH CHECKS CHEX MIX CHECKS CHECKS CHECKS BACK AND OUR NUMBER 4 SAYS THAT OUR AFF PLAN SOLVES BACK THEIR ENTIRE DA JUDGE YOU NEED TO SEE THAT HERE, ON YOUR FLOW, THAT THEY ARE TOTALLY CONCEDING OUR STATES CAN'T SOLVE NUCLEAR POWER SOLVENCY ARGUMENT WE'RE WINNING THIS WHICH MEANS WE ALWAYS WIN AND WE NEVER LOSE, SO CONVERSLY THEY ALWAYS LOSE AND NEVER WIN WHEN THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO IS CONCEDED SO EXTEND IT PULL IT ALL THE WAY ACROSS AND CROSS APPLY IT HERE JUUUUUUDGE!!"

 

and then i give an underview

Edited by InGodWeTrustInc
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Not exactly my favorite line but my fav. moment in debate was we were debating a team that really ticked me off. We were aff and running Water wells for the Africa topic. Their 2 remaining arguments that we hadn’t completely smashed were that “water wars will never happen because they haven’t happened in the past “ and a fairly good china DA. So I get up their in the 2AR and say. “ok, flow the water wars over to them right now we accept this argument, but it only takes out part of our solvency and the rest is left standing.” “and now look at their china DA because a nuke war has never happened in the past it will never happen in the future, because of their water wars they are forced to agree with us.” The judge started laughing and I’m pretty sure circled aff on the ballot right then and the other team just looked at us dumb-struck. It was pretty funny.
Ballot - NEG - no new args in 2ar, sorry bud.

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"Look judge, my Grandma died of AIDs, it's obviously a big deal if it could kill my Grandma... (tries to get sympathy from the judge)

...

Me:"Good round, did your Grandma really die of AIDs?"

Opponent: "I've never met my Grandma, how should I know?"

 

Touch

i remember the team that pulled that....

i think we beat them...

twice...;)

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Underviews are for posers and fakes.

How else am I supposed to remind the judge of the overview? I always give my overview again at the end as an underview, how else will the judge know what i'm saying is REALLY IMPORTANT??

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a friend and i were having a mock debate

 

me: can you protect your topicality?

him: nope

 

that was in the first CX he had to go the rest of the round know he'd lost

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"No one would sacrifice themself for others."

 

"Empirically denied: Jesus"

Hemmingway died so we wouldn't have to read any more of his books. That was awfully kind of him.

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