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Does anyone have parents who hate them debating?

Do your parents approve of you debating?  

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  1. 1. Do your parents approve of you debating?

    • Yes
      161
    • No
      98


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My parents hate the fact that I debate. Does anyone else have that situation?

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My parents hate the fact that I debate. Does anyone else have that situation?
no not me but for what reason does your parents not like you debating

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so many of the parents on our team hate it that their kids debate. it's really stupid too. most of their complaints are that it takes time away from 'family time' but most of these kids sit at home in front of their computers or out with friends when they don't debate so that's pretty lame. one of the debaterx on our team is even being forced to quit after this year cuz her parents are meaking her but i'm unsure as to why. my partner has always had problems with his parents too cuz they think that we're "corrupting" him. there are other people too who have parents who think it's a great activity but that's the exception rather than the rule which is really sad cuz as someone above pointed out, it is an educational activity and the debaters on our team are seriiously probably the group of the smartest kids at our school.

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my dad hates debate so much that:

 

A. he wont let me practice in our house and,

 

B. he refuses to come to the TOC with me and,

 

C. he constantly complains that i should spend the summer with him, and not hanging out with "nerds"

 

D. he calls me a nerd.

 

P.S. my dad is a 250 lb., 5' 8" lardo who is terrible at sports and would epitomize nerdiness, so he has even digressed to hypocrisy at this point.

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My dad hates debate when it comes down to buying crap for it.

 

But, beyond that, I really don't understand why parents would be against the idea.

 

However, think about how much parents perceive having to "go through" for their child to debate. If their kid is a sophomore or younger, in most cases, they have to go through the hassel of providing transportation to squad meetings, tournaments (whether from the school or maybe even to the site). If their kid debates nationally @ most schools, they have to pay traveling fees, etc. Debate becomes a very expensive, and time-consuming endeavor, especially for the parent who was unlucky enough to have a kid who doesn't want to put on a football uniform and call that their high-school calling.

 

I think the problem is a lack of parents perceiving how much debate can benefit their child - normally, the school's don't help much in this matter, normally treating the parent's questions about debate as an issue that isn't worth giving much thought to, oftentimes because the assumption is that the parent should be in full support of any and everything their child does. This often leads to the parents feeling like their voice doesn't matter, only making the situation worse.

 

I think it's a problem in most debate, and the first step should simply be to aknowledge that parents do exist.

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debate = like really good on college applications and its a productive and educational use of your time. I don't understand a parents reasoning for not supporting an activity that will benefit their chil's life.

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If their kid debates nationally @ most schools, they have to pay traveling fees, etc. Debate becomes a very expensive, and time-consuming endeavor, especially for the parent who was unlucky enough to have a kid who doesn't want to put on a football uniform and call that their high-school calling.

 

parents all tend to get squeamish about spending money for any activity (even football) to some degree. and that's pretty legit for parents to dislike especially when it gets pricey like $3000+ camps, although camps are voluntary and there are definitely cheaper ones out there. speaking as a debater whose school isn't on the national circuit - parents still don't like having to deal with the random travel fees that our coach asks for (only like $30 max). we do try fundraisers, in fact we have 4-5 a year. however because parents are unwilling to have any part in that, [see below] it doesn't work out as well as we always hope.

 

However, think about how much parents perceive having to "go through" for their child to debate. If their kid is a sophomore or younger, in most cases, they have to go through the hassel of providing transportation to squad meetings, tournaments (whether from the school or maybe even to the site).

 

about the transportation though i don't think that should be a big deal. i'm a sophomore (i'm 16 and can drive but can't get my car till the snow melts :() but even before i truned 16 my parents were really cool about offering rides to my friends whose parents had problems with coming to get them. in fact kids on our team who can drive already offer rides to kids whose parents wont pick them up. but i think it's more of an issue about parents not wanting to spend time away from their kids. which i mentioned in my last post i believe, tends to be bull for the most part.

 

I think the problem is a lack of parents perceiving how much debate can benefit their child - normally, the school's don't help much in this matter, normally treating the parent's questions about debate as an issue that isn't worth giving much thought to, oftentimes because the assumption is that the parent should be in full support of any and everything their child does. This often leads to the parents feeling like their voice doesn't matter, only making the situation worse.

 

the problem especially at our school is that parents ARE perceiveing that their children are benefitting from it. unfortunatly just not in the way that the parents are wanting. for instance one of the kids on our team converted from being a conservative christian and following in whatever her parents said to being a left leaning athiest. her parents, fortunately are willing to discuss her views with her but they're not too nice about it at times. this is what comes from living in a rather conservative state. the other thing, is that our school even has a booster club of sorts for parents. unfortunately no one attends, thus fundraisers are unsuccessful. i know our coach would be perfectly willing to answer questions parents have about debate. problem is - a lot of parents get a bad first impression about debate and aren't willing to listen to anything else on the subject.

 

that's how it's been where i debate and it really sucks a lot of the time. but we've managed to get by so far however it probably helps that our team is pretty small.

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My uncle like it and thinks it's good for me, but he doesn't like the time I spend away from home. I don't know why though because it's stupid. He nearly made me quit but I continued to debate. I got to a point of not caring. But he's backed off for now.

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A couple of things to bear in mind: Even now, debate is NOT a part of most high schools' curriculum or their activities programs. If you attend a school that has ANY sort of program, you're privileged. Second, keep in mind that this was true of your parents' generation as well; it might be that they haven't got the slightest idea of what you actually, like, y'know, DO when you are "doing debate." Finally, try not to begrudge them on the "time away" thing; at your age, all you see is the looming independence--all they see is the looming loss of what they cherish as a daily part of their lives. Cut 'em a little slack...

 

[P.S. Yeah, my son turns 16 next week, so? ;) ]

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My parents hate the fact that I debate. Does anyone else have that situation?

 

nope. my mum is glad i found my nitch; she told me she's going to be pissed if i don't follow through with it because she's spending money for camp. but i told her not to worry...i'm going to finish what i started, because i love it.

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I'm a freshman novice debater so my mom hates that she has to pick me up, especially when we are meeting twice a week and she usually has to give the other debaters a ride home. My parents don't hate debate as an activity, they hate the amount of money it costs. My school is very competitive nationally and it's pretty much a prerequisite to go to a large, expensive camp to become very good and to get lots of evidence. We also have to pay for our airline tickets and usually at least $40 a night for hotels, not to mention money for food. It's been really hard convincing my parents that the educational benefits outweigh the cost.

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My parents don't like my participation in debate. They dont like the fact that it takes away a lot of my time. I do tend to do debate stuff when i should be doing other stuff for school so my grades have dropped slightly. They tried to give me some crap about how its corrupting because people say that my coach is poisoning our minds(like we are a cult).

They just cant grasp what i love about it. They think its just a competition where you read fast but dont care to take the time to actually see what i get out of it.

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My parents don't hate it...but they definitely get annoyed by it at the end of the season. And I'm going to a pretty costly camp. :-\. However the one thing that makes me think they hate it, is that when we get into fights (even stupid ones about how it's my brother's turn to do a chore or something else that's really lame) they always pull out the "Well if you'd stop debating me..." card. It gets really annoying.

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My parents don't like my participation in debate. They dont like the fact that it takes away a lot of my time. I do tend to do debate stuff when i should be doing other stuff for school so my grades have dropped slightly. They tried to give me some crap about how its corrupting because people say that my coach is poisoning our minds(like we are a cult).

They just cant grasp what i love about it. They think its just a competition where you read fast but dont care to take the time to actually see what i get out of it.

 

i'm sorry for you! :( but as long as it is important to you, and as long as you love it, that's seriously all that matters (in my opinion). go for it! do your best, and maybe one day they'll see what good has come out of it.

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A couple of things to bear in mind: Even now, debate is NOT a part of most high schools' curriculum or their activities programs. If you attend a school that has ANY sort of program, you're privileged.

 

Hmm - I could almost see this as being a stressful issue for kids that do do debate in areas that lack a huge local circuit.

 

Kansas, thankfully, doesn't have this problem, although the reasons why it doesn't are debatable, but debate is much easier to attend and participate in in a state like KS, where a majority of your rounds are in-state. I know that the furthest I've had to drive is from Topeka to Wichita to attend 5A State - this was leaving in the morning on Friday, and returning Saturday night. Hardly what'd you consider a stressful, strung-out trip.

 

However, in many other states, to my understanding, there has been a general drift and emphasis on national level debate, especially in states like Illinois. Most of this means that if kids do want to debate, they can't stick with the cheap, less-time consuming local circuits, and often have to handle the huge costs involved in national competition.

 

I can see where this would be stressful on any parent, where a majority of the debaters out there are inclined into the more time-consuming, money-consuming form of debate anyhow.

 

Also, you have another point on the issue of parents not really knowing what happens in debate. I know that my dad always assumed that every weekend, we just went somewhere and randomly gave persuasive speeches... and then the following summer at camp, he got to witness that there was a big difference between what he thought debate was and what we were doing at camp, e.g. holding pens in our mouths, talking 500 wpm, and telling how the slightest thing necessitated global nuclear war.

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my parents always have, still do, and always will support my debate career....and they really do think its a good activity....but sometimes my mom gets a little worried that debate has turned me into a crazy radical. Like....i worked with toni nielson and cameron ward all summer and when i came home and my mom watched me at berkeley...she heard me run my aff (hahaha) and if you know toni and cameron....you know how this story is going to end! Our advocacy statement is to rationalize suicide bombing....and because my mom really doesnt understand spread debate....all she has to hear is the concept behind what we are saying....and she already builds pre-concieved problems with what we are advocating. Other then that my parents have always supported me financially in debate....do i wish they supported it more in a less materialistic way....yeah....but you take what you can get!

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hanover, thats a terrible situation. u shuld ignore ur parents b/c u wont gain anything from him. if u can explain it to him u shuld try, not sure if he wuld be open to listening tho. just explain to ur parents all the benefits and the bad parts of debate wont affect u if u do the right stuff

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My parents are constantly pulling the "stop debating me card", so I think that may have a great deal to do with it. I truly don't completely understand that, but then again, part of the reason they may not like it is because they don't understand debate.

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do do debate
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Derek said "do do debate" (sorry, I'm a little silly today)... ;)
However, in many other states, to my understanding, there has been a general drift and emphasis on national level debate, especially in states like Illinois. Most of this means that if kids do want to debate, they can't stick with the cheap, less-time consuming local circuits, and often have to handle the huge costs involved in national competition.
Iowa and Nebraska are basically there too, except that around here there really isn't much of a "local circuit" in terms of tournaments that offer policy. We've been to several tournaments this year where there was a policy division, but six or fewer teams participating... :sob:

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